A gray sweat suit power walked through my neighborhod yesterday. After faux-jogging down the sidewalk backwards, it stopped in the park for Tai Chi. At least I think it was Tai Chi. One arm up, one arm down, one leg up, pivot at the waist, backflip. It was free form Tai Chi. I watched in amazement from my front stoop. Noticing Gray Sweat Suit taking a break, I cautiously approached.
Conversation With Gray Sweat Suit
Me: Excuse me.
Gray Sweat Suit (GuSS): Yes?
Me: Hi. Can I talk to you for a second?
GuSS: Sure.
Me: So what were you just doing?
GuSS: Exercise.
Me: Of course, of course. I see you doing that all the time. But that was amazing.
GuSS: Yes. Thank you. I've had a lot of practice. Exercise is what I do best.
ME: I have to say, you seem to have expanded your repetoire over the years. And I'm not just talking about that gymnastics routine just now. I mean, you're not just exercising anymore. You're socializing. You're going out to lunch, you're making it to casual Fridays at work, you're even rocking out on late night talk shows. So when I saw you out here all alone I thought this would be a good time to ask: what up, Gray Sweat Suit?
GuSS: What can I say, people like me. I'm practical, comfortable, dependable, easily washable. You know, what's not to like. And in my case, acceptance has lead to privelge. Finally I'm making a name for myself.
Me: But you've been at this such a long time. Why now?
GuSS: I don't know. Why not? The way I see it, I've always been in, its just. . . no one really noticed.
Me: Wow. interesting. So what do you think? Are you ever going to be out of style?
GuSS: Never.
Me: Never?
GuSS: Never.
ME: But you've had some steep competition over the years. Velour, for instance. Need I say more?
GuSS: Velour has gotten pretencious. Fickle too. You can't count on Velour.
Me: OK. Well then what do you say to the Velvet Sweat Suit. And while we're at it, what exactly are you made of exactly?
GuSS. What I'm made of isn't the point. I could be Velour. I could be Velvet. What I am is Cotton Blend. But more than anything I am Gray. Velour and Velvet don't do Gray. Only I can really pull off Gray.
Me: Wow. I think I'm starting to see your point. It's all still a little Gray though.
GuSS: You're not funny.
Me: I know.
After that Gray Sweat Suit said goodbye and jogged out of the park. This time it did the Rocky Balboa thing - jabbing and ducking from an invisible opponent while running. This looked a little funny since Gray Sweat Suit has no hands. But I wasn't laughing. Gray Sweat Suit kicks ass.
Posted by Red Chuck at January 7, 2006 03:56 PM