Red Chuck

New Year's Tributes

To An Enemy: After careful consideration I have decided against peeing in your front yard.

And on your car door handle.

Given your limited powers of observation, this symbolic gesture probably wouldn't be effective. Though it would definitely satisfy an urge. Let's just say that I know that you know that you can bring out the worst in me. On sight, I bristle, you growl. We pace a tight circle. The leg lifts.

Your resolutions (from me) - Go out less, try an experimental hairstyle, make hasty decisions, try to be more silent. . . on second thought, keep talking. . . just keep right on talking. . .

To A Friend: Because you get it, there's no need to explain. All that really needs to be said is thanks, you.

And, the next round's on me.

And, no, you are right.

And, what time and where?

And. . .

My resolutions (for you): Get organized, be on time, clean the passenger seat, follow through, floss (but really that last one is for her).

On Hold

Seriously. I've been on hold for thirty minutes thirty hours three days. That's because the person that has me on hold is also on hold. That's what he told me yesterday. And I believe him. There's no one else to believe. He's the only one. I hope he comes back. Soon. Please. Please come back. There's this schizo background music. A Christmasy xylophone piece that alternates with a. . . Shit. It clicked off. Hello? Hello? All is lost. . .

Tonight at the Tavern

Flyer courtesy Loose Canon.

Twas the Night Before Christmas And All Through the House Not a Creature Was Stirring Not Even a Half Creature Half Robot

A short conversation overheard at the top of the stairs on Christmas Eve:

Harrison (whispering): Helen, I have something important to tell you.
Helen (also whispering): What is it Hawwison.
Harrison: Its a secret. You can't tell Mom and Dad.
Helen: Ohhhhhh.
Harrison (really whispering deliberately): Helen. . . I. . . am. . . part. . . creature. . . and. . . part . . . ROBOT.
Helen (long pause as she processed this incredible admission): Hawwison. . . that's terrible.
Harrison: It's not so terrible.

There's A New Blog In Town

Notes To Self

I am so excited. K. is undoubtedly the finest writer I know. Damn funny too. Her captions for "Christmas Party 2005" at the KodakEasyShareGallery were the bomb. Especially caption 22 which underscored a photograph of a couple laughing in the wings of the game of Tacky Gift / Bad Santa we played.
And I quote:

I'm not sure who these people are. Perhaps singles wishing to warm themselves in the glow of sugar-crazed children and thinly supressed marital tensions.

Good stuff. Pretty much nailed the mood. I'm still laughing.

Anyway her first post, A Plague Upon Our House, sets the tone of what will be a hilarious and insightful blog about the trials and vicissitudes of sainthood.

I mean parenthood.

MERRY DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

Hung Over

Remember that morning I woke up with a black eye. And no, I hadn't been in a fight. I just woke up hung over and black eyed. Maybe I punched myself in my sleep. I don't know what happened.

So no black eyes today but. . . wait. . . let's check things out a little here. . . ok. . . uh huh. . . yep. I am hung over. No doubt about it.

And you know those kind of hang overs that are weirdly OK. You're still a little bit tipsy so you feel fuzzy, clumsy, maybe even a little bit frisky.

Well I don't feel like that. This is a headache combined with neck and jaw pain (ostensibly from all those throw-the-head-back-laugh-out-loud moments I enjoyed last night). This is a mind-bracing clampdown of a hang over. I'm wearing a prickly skull cap of pain. Turning my head makes me queasy.

So the next thing to do is try to remember what I might have done to embarass myself last evening. OK, playing piano at the office Christmas party wasn't the smoothest move. I don't know how to play the piano. Not at all. The only thing I can do to a piano is strike a stacked fourth chord. Which is what I did. Repeatedly. McCoy Tyner would NOT be proud.

Yes the office party was obviously big fun. Great food and great drinks. Knob Creek whiskey flowed into Sierra Nevadas flowed into a shot of some high shelf tequila flowed into more Sierra Nevadas. And I think it was all the conversation about travel that inspired me to travel as a passenger from the office party to that place in the river market that has live music.

And from the way I feel today, that was a bad idea. But the music was good. I only caught two of Kerby's songs but the band sounded great and am I wrong or was that Kerby on the finger tap guitar solo?

And the Big Cats were superb in the way that forces of nature are superb.

And I am very hung over today.

A Letter to P. Wee Sitts, Chairperson, Babysitters Local 151

Dear Mr. Sitts,

As pertaining to your list of "tactics" outlined so convienently in the comments section of the previous post, I avow that strong repercussions will occur against the babysitting industry if any or all such "tactics" actually ever occur. All of the babysitters you have surreptiously drawn into your "union" will experience the full extent of our wrath. To wit:

The Easys Play That Place in the River Market

A book cover seems appropriate here since tonight we are playing with The High Strung, a band famous for touring Michigan libraries last summer.

Also I thought the American Princes were suppossed to be sharing the bill but I'm not finding any information about this. Who started this rumor? Come on. . . Own up. . . you scoundrel. I think it must have been someone from the local babysitter's union, spreading tall tales that Wednesday would be a three band bill so all of us would schedule sitters for a long winters night. . . of ROCK!

Anyway, here's a link to Sticky ______ site (underscored because I refuse to type "Fingers" with a "z" instead of an "s" anymore).

Xmas Card

I posted a new Flikr badge in my sidebar today. It connects to a small gallery of shots that we rejected for this year's Xmas card. Coordinating two children and a dog was tough but I'm happy with what we finally got (see below).

From One Fence Jumper to Another

Jim Mize and the Fence Jumpers | Christmas in Mississippi
(right-click, save target as)

Here's a little Christmas tune we recorded last year in case you are interested in what Jim Mize and The Fence Jumpers sound like. Spinsouth did a nice job covering the Jim Mize basics. All I got to say is come on out to White Water this evening if you like what you hear.

Sgt. Pepper-Spray's Lonely Hearts Club Band

The loose cannon had some extremely nice things to say about the Easy's show last night at White Water Tavern. I especially like this:

I think someone used some pepper spray on the PA last night. The tunes were absolutely piquant.

I guess that would make us Sgt. Pepper-Spray's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Thank you, sir. We had big fun.

Of course its always great sharing the stage with 607. (Wish you'd caught some of that on your phone, lc.) We need to get off our asses and get that 607/easys recording project in the can.

Also, its worth mentioning that Scottie Pippen was hanging out at White Water last night. Yeah that Scottie Pippen. He's from Hamburg, Arkansas you know. He must be in the area for the holidays so its really not that surprising that he'd be at WWT on a Tuesday night.

Hey Sport, Time out! It's the Easys, Tonight @ WWT

New York Review of Books

Thank you secret gift giver. I am trilled with my new New York Review of Books subscription. The Michael Massing article I read last night was incredible. Check it out everyone. I love the polite way this guy eviscerates that sallow protuberance called American journalism. And I quote:

Today's political pressures too often breed in journalists a tendency toward self-censorship, toward shying away from the pursuit of truths that might prove unpopular, whether with official authorities or the public.

Oh yeah, the article on Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava was also quite good. I really want to see the Sundial Bridge next time we go to sunny California.

Literacy Cure

Helen: Achooo. Ohhh. I already have a cold.
Harrison: Then read a book. That always makes you feel better.

Cubanos Discovered in Dogtown

Though not as good as David's cubanos, the cuban sandwich at Reno's Argenta Cafe is pretty damn good. Ask Spinsouth if you don't believe me. Spinsouth? Spinsouth? Any comments on the cubano?

New Cacophany

I came upon an interesting article this morning by Village Voice art critic Jerry Saltz. In this review focusing on Mike Kelley and Jon Kessler, Saltz takes a wider look at trends in the contemporary art world today, zeroing in on my cousin Phoebe:

Washburn is a combination termite-beaver-magpie; she's a builder who accumulates, creating, almost excreting anomalous architectures and bizarre artifices.

I think he has a crush.

Late Night Conversation

me: Do you hear that? I think its snowing.
her: hrmrm I think that's sleet.
me: Maybe its freezing rain.
her: That's called sleet.
me: Why did you wake me? I was dreaming of a turkey leg.

Free Electronic Recycling Opportunity

The Arkansas Department of Environmental Quality (ADEQ) has formed a partnership with UNICOR Recycling Business Group to offer FREE disposal of residential electronic waste. It's called "Project Green-Fed". This is a one-year pilot project that began August 11, 2005.

How to get rid of Electronic waste using this FREE program:

1. Call Toll Free 1-866-896-8528.
2. UNICOR will send you two (2) boxes, packing material, and a return label at no charge.
3. Pack equipment in the boxes provided, using the packing materials.
4. Call Federal Express for pick up from your home at no charge to you.

Examples of items accepted on this program:

Computers, monitors, laptops, printers, cell phones, fax machines, power supplies, microwaves, small TVs, peripherals, any electronic items that will fit within the box from UNICOR.

This program covers the entire state and meets federal Environmental Protection Agency guidelines. The parts will then be salvaged and used again.

Electronic products often contain hazardous and toxic materials such as lead, chromium, nickel, and zinc, which pose environmental risks when disposed of improperly. Beginning on January 1, 2008, electronics will be banned from Arkansas Landfills according to the Arkansas legislature.

For more information, call the ADEQ help line at 501-682-0923 or the recycling division at 501-682-0814.

In Space

Have you heard the new Big Star album? Not bad, not great either. I thought this review summed it up fairly well.

Localist, ho!

The Easys Website

New and improved!

Dress Warm

Tonight, come see the Boondogs shake, shiver, and roll at the last Hillcrest "Shop 'n Sip" of 2005!

We'll be huddled in the same reptilian car port.

I drove down Kavanaugh last evening and noticed the Christmas lights were going up.

Ah. . . Christmas in Hillcrest. . . the lights, the sounds, the fuzz probe. . . makes for a beautiful winter night.