August 17, 2005
In Their Own Words: The Woefully Gifted or What I Dislike About My Super Power
Don on X-Ray Vision — Yeah, when they first told me at the eye clinic, I was thrilled. I was 17 when I got diagnosed and let me tell you, I wasn’t thinking about a future career in airport security then. I think the first thing to run through my mind was literally “I see London I see France I can see your underpants” but of course, it didn’t turn out that way. As I found out, there’s nothing titillating about bone silhouettes through internal organs. So, yeah, I’d say its a curse. Because once you’ve seen through someone, once you’ve really seen what they are made of, that image stays with you, even when you turn the power off. And the thing is, you can’t help it. Just because you can “scan” someone, doesn’t mean you should. Most days, I don’t even want to open my eyes.
Steve on Flying — I love flying. Really I do. Who wouldn’t? But when people realize that’s all I can do, they start losing interest. Especially the ladies. I think of myself as a fairly good looking guy. I work out. I watch what I eat. You can’t be over weight and do this. But people expect so much more. I’m not Superman, OK. Yes, I can fly but I can’t bend iron bars. I’m not bullet proof. I can’t melt things or see through walls. And because of that, because of what I can’t do, I get dumped? It hurts. I know I’ve said this before, but just because I can fly (sniffle) doesn’t mean I’m the man of steel.
Janice on Super Breath — Super Breath was really fun in the summer when I was growing up. I could spend up to 2 hours underwater at the pool or in the ocean. But then I would get swim ear. So there were lots of ear aches and lots of ear infections. In addition to that, I’ve got skin problems from all those summers at the beach. Most people who have spent a lot time by the shore worry about melanoma now. Me? I’m wrinkling prematurely. In ten years I’m gonna look like a fucking raisin.
Salvador on Invulnerability — Sure, knives can’t cut me, bullets bounce off me but I’d like to be able to feel something occasionally. Invulnerable. Ha. My wife calls me numb. And she’s a saint by the way. Truly a saint. . .
Deidre on Super Hearing — Learning to control this was very difficult for me and at the time, my younger brother was teaching himself to play the guitar. You know, I still hate him for that. Him and Jimi Hendrix. . . and Eric Clapton. . . Jimmy Page. No, I wouldn’t say that I have a lot of fond memories from those early years.
Posted by Red Chuck at August 17, 2005 12:48 PM